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I wrote the very first Skeeter story, which in this book is divided into Making It Mine and Mayhem Dressed as an Eight-Point Buck, in 1998... I think. A bunch more followed. There are thirty-one Skeet stories in this collection, written over a period of two decades. These stories are arranged in chronological order, more or less, by the age of Skeeter and Bil. Not all of these have been told on stage. If you are familiar with my stories you will recognize parts of some of these tales from where they have crept into other stories. Hopefully your favorite is in here. And hopefully something new will entertain you.


This is a book of bad ideas gone wrong. From tying a mannequin to the hood of a truck and driving around town dressed like deer to escaping a Cub Scout den and a hippopotamus in a corn maze; from falsifying book reports to sledding down frozen creeks; from breaking the ocean to greasing a quarter-mile slip-n-slide with pilfered industrial floor wax; from experimenting with strike-anywhere matches to riding in a washing machine rodeo, Bil and Skeeter have tried it all. With more than thirty hilarious stories from childhood through adulthood, this book is a primer for folks of any age who wish to concoct and carry out bad ideas, or just read about somebody else’s.



A Quick Word

Being Civic-Minded Young Men

Making it Mine

Worst Christmas Ever 

Skeeter and Bil Break the Ocean

Vacation Bible School 

You’re Out! 

Pinewood Derby: Hand’s Off, Dad! 

The Teacher in the Patriotic Bathing Suit

Corn Maze

Wally! Come Down Right Now! 

Ice Sledding


The Inflated Easter Bunnies of Halfdollar 

Strike Anywhere Matches & Anything Can Stretch

Church Organ

Geomorphology & the Rope Swing

Egg Babies 

Fortune Cookies 

Mayhem Dressed as an Eight-Point Buck

Not Like a Sexy Centaur 

Love Song to David Bowie

Washing Machine Rodeo

The Nickel 

Christmas Artificial Trees 

Book Reports 

Bored Gourd

Silent Letters 



Montina the Divine Bovine

Raised on Hose Water

That Ain't the Whole Plan

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